Why a challenge?....empty resolve

Challenge. We all want a challenge....well not everyone. But for those of us that do, we want a challenge, a challenge that will give purpose to our actions, a challenge that will give subsidence and foundation to what we are doing. Because if we somehow are so far above in intellect, power, and money we are accomplished, something. However, I cannot find any peace in pursuing such. No matter how great of a challenge something is, it dies somewhere. What are we really doing anyway? Playing this big game, ignoring the pains that groan in agony on the other side of the world. I know, some have called me pessimistic, but I cannot help but feel the agony of humanity rising from the tides from the east, and the west, threatening to drown our surreal bubble of local reality. Life is fickle, but yet something serious, something sovereign, and sacred threads itself in the deep. I am haunted by this cruel idea that everything is a joke.

Then I am reminded by what is real. Tears, broken people tossed into the world where life forces them to dissolve facades and barriers. That is what I live for, the truth, reality. Most of the fluff of life serves as a background for the reality, the core thread of life to flow through. I am absolutely convinced that something is terribly wrong in the midst of this fake American lifestyle. My person craves a reality that is bigger than something any human can create. I crave that which is impossible, something beyond my perception, beyond my abilities, beyond my beliefs. I don't truly know if there can be put an exact boxed in description of this, but that is why we are human. We have limits. We are not invincible. We cannot do everything and anything we want. We are caged in multiple types of prisons. Social prisons, political associations, laborious work, America, judgments, false accusations, fragile existences....etc. Nothing is certain. Welcome to the fragility of life. We are and we are not. Almost a ghost of existence. Whooosh.